Go Aaron Rogers Go II

Another edition of Go Aaron Rogers Go can only mean one thing: I’m sick of a sports story.

This particular story has been gaining steam for months, and it’s becoming a “whenever I turn on the tv, something alludes to this story” type of dealie – worse than the Brett Favreervverere thing. Brettski was only confined to sporting channels and the occasional snippet in the Free Press or Detroit News. This story dominates headlines. At the risk of sounding unpatriotic, I am awfully sick of hearing about Michael Phelps.

Yeah, I know, I’m a communist. I hate America, apple pie, and freedom. Amurrica? No thank you! Moar Monarchy laced with tyranny, plz! ZOMG!

No, seriously, this Phelps thing is getting out of hand. To start with, it’s the Olympics; we don’t give a crap about these people for roughly three and a half out of every four years. Secondly, these games are filled with asinine competitions (tandem diving? Really?) that only serve to make events like swimming appear to be far greater than they are.

Not to knock swimming, because Lord knows I couldn’t even fathom the depths to which these athletes push themselves (ROFLMAO DOUBLE PUN), and it’s just plain grueling, but all you’re doing is plowing through water to get from one side of the pool to another. That’s it, except sometimes you do it in a different way. Can you imagine if they incorporated styles of running into the Olympics? Like if there were 3 different types of 100M dashes? The goofy run, the backwards run, and the real run?

To laud someone for swimming better than anyone else in the world, why not give props to the person who can dance the longest? To the best knife-juggler? Tangent. Anyway. Phelps. Being the toast of the Olympics is like being the most interesting person in first grade: yeah, you’re the best, but everything about first grade sucks. Even you, secretly. Suxors. I don’t care that you dominate at swimming. I don’t care to hear about how Amurrica rules vicariously through your swimming. The Olympics are dumb, media saturation pertaining to Olympics are dumb, apparently Phelps is a douchebag in the real world, and this story makes me want to suck a bulldog’s ass.

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On an unrelated note, Ryan Braun better get his back in order soon. I (and the Brewers, I guess) need that chump to start smashing.