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Published.Com a Free directory listing service for authors Sport Seizure: May 2007

Monday, May 21, 2007

BOYCOTT!

so, i was seriously pontificating the other day, and i couldn't figure out why fans can't ACTUALLY affect how a team is run. i mean, logistically, they really should be able to. let's use the knicks and the lions, for example.


both teams have GM's who may or may not be legally retarded. niether can count beyond five (when asked to once, millen replied "banana," and thomas merely bit the interviewer), niether seems to comprehend what a Sah-lah-ree Cap is, and both are just blatantly running their respective teams into the ground. this is a sad scenario because both franchises have fan bases that are basically rendered dormant due to all this garbage being dumped into their laps. how could this be fixed? stop buying the product.


i really mean this; if the fans are so incensed with how things are going, and signs and blogs and any other passive-aggressive means of communicating with the owner aren't working, the fans should boycott their teams. it's a tough love dealie, but it really should work. how much money will the fords make if no one attends any games? if no one watches any games? if no one buys any shirts or sweaters or blankets? personally, i bet the owners would cave midway through the season (which is a more pleasant situation for football fans, seeing as how there is only 16 games.).


the only problem would be getting the hardcore fans to actually, i don't know, not spend their hard-earned dollars on something that is making them miserable. heck, i'll be the spokesperson for the lions - i'll set up a website, be the voice of dissaproval, and in general be the one in the sniper's scope. that's how much i hate the lions currently, and how much knicks, celtics, and all NHL fans feel right now.


unless the lions win and the red wings get to the Cup finals. then i am content.



...but seriously, why wouldn't this work?

"hey! who said i eat my own boogers! ....NO ONE ELSE CAN EAT THEM! THEY'RE MINE!"

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Hockey? Shmockery! Shm....shnockem...y?

Playoff hockey is something that, when done properly, is arguably the most exciting of all postseason play. football is one-and-done, and in the modern NFL anyone can win at anytime. basketball is too frenetic, and apparently, too thuggish, as shown by the spurs and other teams that bog around. baseball has history and frustration locked up, when teams can suddenly get hot at the end of the season and coast through the playoffs, leaving a less-than-deserving team atop the heap (cardinals...i'm looking at you). hockey, or rather, pre-Dead Puck hockey, was the best of the best.

regrettably, it seems that the NHL has rescinded its claims of a new era with officials dropping a dook all over the ice. clutching, grabbing, hooking...essentially everything the bloody new jersey devils graced the NHL with in '95 en route to a ill-deserved stanley cup, are back with a vengeance. scoring, the thing that has been bringing fans back to the sport, has plummeted, no thanks to refs who just turn a blind eye to brutish behavior (chris pronger body slam - no penalty during the game, suspension upon further review).

"experts" like scott burnside of espn says for fans to stop whining about the lack of scoring and "enjoy playoff hockey." i have been an avid fan of the NHL since 1993, and i enjoy scoring. i also enjoy goalies playing at the top of their games, and being peppered with shots can spur a goalie into the performance of a lifetime. remember how nicholai khabibulin burst onto the scene with the winnepeg jets and behaved like a hoover against the red wings in '95? that game sticks out much more than anything the last five years have given us.

look, scoring makes the nhl beautiful: it emphasizes the skating and the stickhandling, and it can really get a game chippy and raring for a Scrum (the best term available for a hockey fight).


and on an unrelated note, albert pujols might be the worst player in professional baseball history. what's up with his hitting? he's swinging with all the gusto of a dead fish. and honestly, what's up with baseball in general? is the steroid scare altering the way the game is played?

and speaking of steroids (segue!), last night i watched "Rookie of the Year" last night with some buddies, and the barry bonds (pirates, 1993) cameo caught us all off guard. THE DUDE HAS GAINED AT LEAST 100 POUNDS! THIS IS NOT NATURAL! WHY MUST MLB FURTHER MY CONSPIRACY THEORIES BY TURNING A BLIND EYE TO THIS ONE EXAMPLE OF BLATANT CHEATING!?

i gotta stop now, i almost had a convulsion.

Friday, May 11, 2007

basketball?

yes, a basketball post.

first off, isn't it kinda cool how jerry colangelo of the raptors is like dave dombrowski of the detroit tigers? eerie similarities between the two, how they shaped teams into dominant juggernauts, got bored, and went to crappy teams to build them up as well. i think these guys should become the new co-commissioners of the NHL. (sidenote: the red wings playing the ducks scares the holy bejeezus out of me.)

also, the pistons were two point underdogs against the bulls last night? because the bulls were at home? really? i mean, two straight absolutely slaughtering blowouts....and home court advantage would erase those like scope on garlic breath? fortunately, the pistons looked down upon their juvenile opponent, gave them the disapproving parent face, and proceeded to say "Nuh-uh" for about three or so hours. the comeback from a gaping deficit at half time was pretty sweet, but probably not as sweet for us normal folk as it was for the folks who actually put money on the pistons.

"they're down by HOW much? OH GOD!"
24 minutes later...
"IT'S LIKE I'M MADE OF MONEY! I AM LEGAL TENDER IN FIFTY STATES! AND CANADA! AND MEXICO! I WANT TO BUY A KITTY!"

sometimes i feel like the NBA is on its way to being legitimately popular again, judging by the teams that advanced. new teams take out the old ones, superstars coming up big when it counts for whatever team is scripted to win...i mean....destined to win....


and on an unrelated note, barry bonds is now back again on HGH and horse enhancers. seriously, it's not like anyone will test him now that he's so close to the record. you can practically hear the thoughts banging around that enormous head of his...