ugly = awesome

so the final four is this weekend, and a revelation has come to pass: apparently, being unattractive helps one's game. hear me out.

we can all agree that joakim noah, though a superb rebounder and high-octane energy guy (like shane battier 3.0), is hideous. his hair, his teeth, his awkward resemblence to a WNBA player...it just goes on. but i would venture to say that he is as good at basketball as he is ugly, and that is why his team is in the final four. look at greg oden. the dude looks like a 53-year-old pig farmer; i haven't seen that weathered of a face since jack palance hosted "Ripley's." he kinda looks like one of the cavemen from those awful geico commercials. BUT he is also the potential number one pick in the NBA draft and is a collegiate force of nature, muscling his team to the final four. lorenzo mata of UCLA? almost made my hdtv crack in half. he just can't wear enough sweat bands to detract from his horrific appearance, but it was certainly enough to propel the bruins through the tourney. and then there's patrick ewing, jr....but that's just hereditary.

so essentially, college basketball teams need these gollums to aid them in their quests for glory, like a reverse Ephialtes from "300."

on the pro basketball front, let's dissect a potential championship foundation in orlando: dwight howard is, most certainly, the most imposing young forward in the league, due to his already impressive talents and developing skills and body. but what of the other twin tower down there? darko milicic, all 21 years of him, is developing quite nicely as well. i've been singing his praises since the pistons drafted him, worthy or crazy, back in '03, and i still believe in him now. his game is becoming qutie noticeable, especially playing alongside howard, and if he chooses to stay after this season (which orlando should be able to afford), those two guys could really form a dominate pairing for years to come. not bad for a dude who played in the NBA with braces, and another who played with boy-band hair.

now, the rankings for SS and 2B (italics indicate contract year, parenthesis indicate position eligibility):

Shortstop:
1. Jose Reyes
2. Jimmy Rollins
3. Michael Young -consistently amazing.
4. Miguel Tejada
5. Derek Jeter
6. Hanley Ramirez - like a poor man's reyes, but needs to do it again for me to believe.
7. Carlos Guillen
8. Rafael Furcal
9. Stephen Drew
10. Bobby Crosby
11. Jhonny Peralta
12. Khalil Greene - a world of talent...but very brittle fingers.
13. Troy Tulowitzki - NL ROY candidate...potentially.
14. Felipe Lopez
15. Orlando Cabrera

Second Base:
1. Chase Utley - king of the dung heap
2. Brian Roberts
3. Robinson Cano
4. Rickie Weeks
5. Howie Kendrick
6. Chone Figgins (3B, OF) - drops because of the whole one-month DL thing
7. Chris Burke (OF)
8. Freddy Sanchez (3B, SS) - drops due to injury, too
9. Mark DeRosa
10. Tadahito Iguchi
11. Dan Uggla - ....hey danny, do it again! i dare ya!
12. Ian Kinsler - huge upside
13. Josh Barfield
14. Brandon Philips
15. Julio Lugo
16. Ray Durham - i swear one of these days he'll realize he's old and not good at baseball...i just don't know when.
17. Marcus Giles