the Tomlinson Corrollary

This is one of the weirdest fantasy season i have ever laid witness to. In real football, it seems that any team can beat any other team at any point on any week. Yay mediocrity! I mean...Parity! Yay! hopefully this season every team will finish 8-8 and the Super Bowl will be picked by way of a 32-team wrestling tournament featuring kickers in cages, battling for the chance to actually win a Super Bowl MVP (Viniateiri, you were ROBBED, man!)!

But in fake football, everyone who is supposed to be good is terrible, and i mean slam-your-hand-in-a-slidiing-door-before-Christmas terrible. Brady-done. Larry Johnson-inconsistent. Peyton-still recuperating. And then there's LaDainian Tomlinson, he of the Cursed Toe. Let's check some stats, shall we? Guess which season these first six games numbers go with:

544 rush yards, 7 td's, 10 receptions
405 rush yards, 4 td's, 18 receptions
655 rush yards, 3 td's, 32 receptions
473 rush yards, 7 td's, 32 receptions


give up? the first is from his rookie season, AKA the worst season of his career because, well, he was a rookie. the second is his current season, where his big toe is ruining everything. the third is his 2003 season, where he caught a HB record 100 passes and scored 13 td's. the last one is from his mystical 2006 season. y'know, where he scored an ungodly 28 td's to go with his 1800+ rush yard, 50+ catches, and three recieving td's to add insult to injury. What does this all serve to prove? Well, initially i was hoping that this would be an indicator that
A) he is getting older, and therefore losing his touch...es. bwhaha,
B) he is finally showing the wear and tear from nearly 3,000 touches, or
C) nothing is wrong! move along, move along.
Unfortunately, i think that the first two scenarios are the most likely. LDT has suffered more abuse over the last few years than any young runner in the NFL. Sure, he's piling on stats, or he used to pile on stats, but now his body is just getting older and more beat up, and SD's passing offense is really scary right now; they just don't need him to do the things he did. So, in essence, do we still worry?

Well, yeah, man, I drafted that idiot first overall and i'm getting nothing in return! Of course we worry! He's done, i tells ya! DONE!

I think the worst part of all this is that LDT is in about fourteen different commercials now, and every one of them are portraying him as the incredible superman that he is clearly not anymore. Man, i hate that guy...but don't get me started on him versus Ryan Grant. That guy's a piece of pig vomit.




"Hey LaDainian! Which way is North?"