Hockey? Shmockery! Shm....shnockem...y?

Playoff hockey is something that, when done properly, is arguably the most exciting of all postseason play. football is one-and-done, and in the modern NFL anyone can win at anytime. basketball is too frenetic, and apparently, too thuggish, as shown by the spurs and other teams that bog around. baseball has history and frustration locked up, when teams can suddenly get hot at the end of the season and coast through the playoffs, leaving a less-than-deserving team atop the heap (cardinals...i'm looking at you). hockey, or rather, pre-Dead Puck hockey, was the best of the best.

regrettably, it seems that the NHL has rescinded its claims of a new era with officials dropping a dook all over the ice. clutching, grabbing, hooking...essentially everything the bloody new jersey devils graced the NHL with in '95 en route to a ill-deserved stanley cup, are back with a vengeance. scoring, the thing that has been bringing fans back to the sport, has plummeted, no thanks to refs who just turn a blind eye to brutish behavior (chris pronger body slam - no penalty during the game, suspension upon further review).

"experts" like scott burnside of espn says for fans to stop whining about the lack of scoring and "enjoy playoff hockey." i have been an avid fan of the NHL since 1993, and i enjoy scoring. i also enjoy goalies playing at the top of their games, and being peppered with shots can spur a goalie into the performance of a lifetime. remember how nicholai khabibulin burst onto the scene with the winnepeg jets and behaved like a hoover against the red wings in '95? that game sticks out much more than anything the last five years have given us.

look, scoring makes the nhl beautiful: it emphasizes the skating and the stickhandling, and it can really get a game chippy and raring for a Scrum (the best term available for a hockey fight).


and on an unrelated note, albert pujols might be the worst player in professional baseball history. what's up with his hitting? he's swinging with all the gusto of a dead fish. and honestly, what's up with baseball in general? is the steroid scare altering the way the game is played?

and speaking of steroids (segue!), last night i watched "Rookie of the Year" last night with some buddies, and the barry bonds (pirates, 1993) cameo caught us all off guard. THE DUDE HAS GAINED AT LEAST 100 POUNDS! THIS IS NOT NATURAL! WHY MUST MLB FURTHER MY CONSPIRACY THEORIES BY TURNING A BLIND EYE TO THIS ONE EXAMPLE OF BLATANT CHEATING!?

i gotta stop now, i almost had a convulsion.